The Gift

I walked into her room; there was a little tiny person in this big bed.
She was so agitated, and her tremors, the worst I had ever seen.
The nurse said she had just had a bowel extraction, and was in a lot of pain.
They were going to bring her some pain killers.
She was trying to get out of bed.
Trying to sit-up and was getting angry.

I was trying to settle her down, rubbing her head, holding her hands,
She was not settling down.
Pain killers arrived.
10 minutes later; no difference.

She lifted both her hands and pushed me away.
I started to cry and told the nurse that maybe I was agitating her and I should go.
The nurse said no, that Mom was in pain.

Morphine arrived.
10 minutes later she was getting better, so I prayed over her and asked God to help her with her confusion, her pain, and her agitation.

Then I held her hand some more and talked.
I was rubbing her face and head... that seemed to work for her.

Then she lifted her hand up and placed it on my cheek,
her eyes opened, and she said
“I love you”

My Mom had not recognized me for 5 years.

That was a gift from God. I praised him!! God is good..

Mom had difficulties in saying... I love you.
When I said "I love you Mom", she would always say "me too".


My Mom suffered from Alzheimers for almost 15 years.
Four months later on July 16, 2006... The Lord took her to be with him.

No matter the situation... God can do miracles.

Running out of Dreams!!

My Friends and I were sitting around the table and chatting about getting older, being placed in a seniors home. What would that be like?

We talked about how some people handle the changes well, and others do not.

How some people are at peace with getting older and go with the flow. We want to be like that, age gracefully, age without being bitter, or unhappy. Why do some people react so differently?

My Mom was bitter and angry, her sister was just the opposite.

Sometimes at 52 I feel, tired, bitter, and angry. What else is there... do I work until I drop?

It is too late for a lot of my dreams... being a journalist... a writer, a preacher, a public speaker... being a Rock 'n Roll singer, (Linda Ronstadt was my hero, anyway the tights would not look so great now)...

So here I am working at a printing company... that was not my dream. Not that I do not like my job... I actually love it... but was it my dream? Not so much!

I am mourning a few of those lost dreams... which I think is OK.

Sometimes I wonder what my passion was or is?  
What does God want me to do? 
What is my purpose here?

I try and peddle as fast as I can in life... to experience new things, to laugh, and to be true and real... to have authentic friendships... participate in genuine family relationships.

After reading one of my devotions it hit me... 

Just be me! God made me!

So if I feel that what I am doing for Christ is simple, it is important to God.

God's message is: 

The end is not yet!  My story is not over and neither is yours.

Even when we get white hair, knees that ache, hands that hurt...

God is not finished with me or You!!  We can still do God's work.


Ecclesiastes 3:11-13  God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planned eternity in the human heart, but even so people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. SO I have concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. And People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor for these are gifts from God.